Message-ID: <3A969E03.DD0D72B6@csi.com>
Date: Fri, 23 Feb 2001 12:29:39 -0500
From: John Colagioia <JColagioia@csi.com>
Organization: No Conspiracy Here...
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Subject: Re: ?issing Bandit
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"Adam J. Thornton" wrote:

> There has recently been some speculation that the Cheerio Pissing Bandit
> and the Kissing Bandit are one and the same.

[Swoons] My heeeeeros.


> Despite superficial similarities in the name--and perhaps a similar love
> of melodrama--I hasten to assure you that this is not the case.  Had I
> written a SmoochieComp entry it would assuredly have been _Stiffy
> Makane: The Undiscovered Country_, an xtrek rumination about Starfleet
> and Alternative Sexuality, with illustrations by Tom of Finland or a
> spiritual heir.  Alas, I did not have the time to produce this epic
> opus.

Ah-ha, but that's just what we'd EXPECT you to say, foul wretch and
lawbreaker!  Therefore, until and unless we see the two Bandits
side-by-side, we will have to always hold to this possibility!!


> Further, let me *categorically* state that if you are unable to tell the
> difference between kissing and pissing, I will neither go on a date nor
> go to the toilet with you.  Sorry to dash all your hopes that way,
> ladies and gentlemen.

Well put, I say!


> Now, if you don't mind, I must get back to evilly stroking my beard and
> hosing down the odd bowl of oat-rings.  Ha-ha!

You go do that.  And try not to expand your millieu to warm cereals.  I'd
really rather not have to wonder why my Cream of Wheat is discolored on
certain mornings.


> Adam
> --
> adam@princeton.edu
> "My eyes say their prayers to her / Sailors ring her bell / Like a moth
> mistakes a light bulb / For the moon and goes to hell."  -- Tom Waits

