Message-ID: <3A969DBF.BA970A0D@csi.com>
Date: Fri, 23 Feb 2001 12:28:31 -0500
From: John Colagioia <JColagioia@csi.com>
Organization: No Conspiracy Here...
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Subject: Re: ?issing Bandit
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"Adam J. Thornton" wrote:

> There has recently been some speculation that the Cheerio Pissing Bandit
> and the Kissing Bandit are one and the same.

[Swoons] My heeeeeros.


> Despite superficial similarities in the name--and perhaps a similar love
> of melodrama--I hasten to assure you that this is not the case.  Had I
> written a SmoochieComp entry it would assuredly have been _Stiffy
> Makane: The Undiscovered Country_, an xtrek rumination about Starfleet
> and Alternative Sexuality, with illustrations by Tom of Finland or a
> spiritual heir.  Alas, I did not have the time to produce this epic
> opus.

Ah-ha, but that's just what we'd EXPECT you to say, foul wretch and
lawbreaker!  Therefore, until and unless we see the two Bandits
side-by-side, we will have to always hold to this possibility!!


> Further, let me *categorically* state that if you are unable to tell the
> difference between kissing and pissing, I will neither go on a date nor
> go to the toilet with you.  Sorry to dash all your hopes that way,
> ladies and gentlemen.

Well put, I say!


> Now, if you don't mind, I must get back to evilly stroking my beard and
> hosing down the odd bowl of oat-rings.  Ha-ha!

You go do that.  And try not to expand to warm cereals.  I'd rather not have
to wonder why my Cream of Wheat is discolored on certain mornings.


> Adam
> --
> adam@princeton.edu
> "My eyes say their prayers to her / Sailors ring her bell / Like a moth
> mistakes a light bulb / For the moon and goes to hell."  -- Tom Waits

