//
//     _____  __                           __
//    / ___/ / /_ _____ ____ _ ____   ____/ /
//    \__ \ / __// ___// __ `// __ \ / __  / 
//   ___/ // /_ / /   / /_/ // / / // /_/ /  
//  /____/ \__//_/    \__,_//_/ /_/ \__,_/   
//                                           
//  Copyright (©) Strand Games 2023.
//
//  This program is free software: you can redistribute it and/or modify it
//  under the terms of the GNU Lesser General Public License (LGPL) as published
//  by the Free Software Foundation, either version 3 of the License, or (at
//  your option) any later version.
// 
//  This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful, but WITHOUT
//  ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of MERCHANTABILITY or
//  FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the GNU Lesser General Public License
//  for more details.
// 
//  You should have received a copy of the GNU Lesser General Public License
//  along with this program. If not, see <http://www.gnu.org/licenses/>.
//
//
//  info@strandgames.com
//

STORY
images/cover1.webp
Welcome to "**Beat Me Up Scotty**".

**Disclaimer:**
\
This game has nothing to do with a certain TV and film production. Any similarity to persons dead, alive or _fictional_ is purely coincidental. And even if it isn't, there isn't a problem as this work is non-commercial fan art. Furthermore, this content consists exclusively of material that _didn't_ happen together with lines that were _never_ said. **So there!** Anybody still arguing will have to see the werewolf. **Werewolf?** Well yeah, why wouldn't there be a werewolf? I mean, it's not my fault if you keep thinking this is based on a sci-fi TV series. Anyway, werewolves are science fiction, aren't they? Or are they horror? Well, yeah definitely horror. Except for the comedies. But it's still a kind of science fiction. I guess. Now you've gone and confused me and I'm not sure. Hmm, well I'll just leave all that for you to decide. Anyway, let's get on with it...

**Content Warning:** Bad Language (especially bad writing), Blood and Gore, Alcohol abuse, Murder, Death, a Werewolf, Sex and Violence and Deception.

BEGIN
\
UPDATEMAP
INTRO
\
> set PLAYER maxscore 17
GOBAR
MAIN

INTRO
\
Do you want the intro? INTRO1

INTRO1?
* yes
DOINTRO
OK, let's go.
* no
NOINTRO

NOINTRO
* Intros are for lamers.
* Yeah, you don't need _that_.
* Good idea.
* Yeah, intros are for wusses in yellow outfits.
* Whoever reads manuals anyway.

DOINTRO
audio/trek14theme.ogg:volume:10
Doo-do, do, doo, d'd-do dooo...
images/tosscore1-gig633.webp
Here is the title music. Rendered on an 8-bit [\TRS-80](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/\TRS-80) from 1979. It's so hopeless it doesn't actually have sound capability. Instead you have to wiggle the pins up and down on the cassette port at the correct rates to generate a horrible sort of wave. Then plug that into a tape recorder to actually get the sound.
\
Just to remind you that this isn't the title music of any TV production, as no-doubt you have realised. It's so poor as to be barely recognisable in any case. Any similarity is therefore _entirely_ in your imagination. Like, it could be _anything_.
MORE
Enough of the terrible "music" already! If it hasn't stopped there's a menu option. Now where was I? Oh yeah, I better tell you how the game works. This isn't regular parser \IF. For sure, it's definitely _irregular_! It's all about **catch phrases**. You are presented with a sequence of bizarre situations the answer to which is a **catch phrase**. Sure, you can do the usual \IF things, but it's not the usual puzzle solving with objects. To complete each situation you have to type in the correct catch phrase. If you get it right you score a point and move on to the next one. Let me give you an example:

_You're on an uncharted planet. Now, you're surrounded by nasty alien creatures with vicious fangs and claws. Spock and Bones have lost their shit, yelling at each other. The red shirts are all dead. Your phasers are drained and Scotty's back on the ship taking it easy._

You might say: **Beam me up Scotty**

Which is the right answer because _all_ the answers follow this same phrase pattern _and_ begin with "B". So as Bones would say, "It's \IF Jim, but not as we know it." 

One last thing, if you get really stuck, you can type **pass**. Good luck!
MORE

COMMON@
* run
No time for that!
* beam me up scotty
BEAMUP
* beam me
BEAMUP
* beam up
NOSENSE
* shoot THING
SHOOTUP
* stun THING
SHOOTUP

BEAMUP
* Scotty, "But I'm here with you Capt'n."
* Scotty, "But you never actually said that Capt'n."

SHOOTUP
That's against Starfleet regs.

NOSENSE
* Nonsense.
* Rubbish!
* What drivel you talk.
* What are you talking about.

INNUENDO
I don't think so!

NOBEER
Free beer tomorrow, apparently.

PASS
* OK, we'll skip this one.
* Pah! That one was easy.
* Imagine not being able to guess that!
* OK, but try harder on the next one.

HERE2
> put spock in here
> put scotty in here

HERE3
HERE2
> put bones in here

BAR@ INSIDE COMMON
* name
the biker bar
* x it
You're in a tough-guy biker bar. Everyone here looks mean \AF. They've all got tats, knives and scars. Several of the [bikers] are glancing your way, probably put out by your wussy yellow outfit and the general lack of black leather, studs and chains. [Spock]'s gone to get the beers in and [Scotty]'s here talking shit as usual. You'd better do something fast!
* beat me up scotty
BARDO
* beat up me
BARDO
* beat me
NOSENSE
* bar2 // cheat
GOBAR2
* gym  // cheat
GOGYM
* road // cheat
GOROAD
* pass
PASS
GOSICKBAY
* x BEERS
NOBEER

GOBAR
> put player in BAR
HERE2
XHERE

BARDO
INCSCORE
Scotty punches you squarely on the nose. Claret splatters everywhere! That _hurt!_ Next thing, you're both on the floor flailing about, punching wildly like schoolboys. How _dare_ he hit so hard, the **git**! The bikers laugh so hard they wet themselves. Well, at least you got out of that situation.
GOSICKBAY

BIKERS@ MAN
> put it in BAR
* name
the bikers
* name
biker
* name
tats
* name
knives
* name
scars
* x it
The bikers all look hard as nails. Not at all bothered about using unnecessary violence. Or, as they would put it, _necessary_ violence.
* talk to it
They don't look the sort up for a chat. You need to do something to distract them.
* distract it
How?

OUTFIT@ GARMENT
> put it on player
* name
wussy yellow outfit
* label
the wussy yellow outfit
* x it
You think you look better in blue, but best not let on.

BEERS@ THING
* name
the beers
* name
beer
* name
drinks

SICKBAY@ INSIDE COMMON
* name
sickbay
* name
sick bay
* name
medicals
* x it
You're back on the ship in sickbay. [Blood] spurts out in slow motion, you need to stop it, but you're toughing it out. Bones and the [nurses] are having a party. _Bastard_. Well, you did tell him there's be no need for medical whilst in orbit. [Scotty]'s not so good at the med stuff, but it'll have to do. After all, it was _his_ fault.
* bandage me up scotty
DOSICKBAY
* bandage me up
DOSICKBAY
* bandage me
NOSENSE
* pass
PASS
GOBRIDGE1

GOSICKBAY
> put player in SICKBAY
HERE2
XHERE

DOSICKBAY
Scotty does his best to stem the blood. It's not great. How come he hasn't a scratch. He claims you're a southern softy.
INCSCORE
\
Suddenly you're summoned to the bridge urgently. Oh, not another crisis!
GOBRIDGE1

BLOOD@ THING
> put it in SICKBAY
* name
the blood
* x it
You have to stop the bleeding with something.
* stop it
NOBLOOD
* stem it
NOBLOOD

NOBLOOD
You need Scotty's help.

NURSES@ THING
> put it in SICKBAY
* name
the nurses
* name
party
* x it
Everyone's in a party with Bones. You weren't invited.
* talk to it
NURSETALK
* ask it about THING
NURSETALK

NURSETALK
They're not here, they're at the party. You're not invited.


BRIDGE@ INSIDE COMMON
* name
the bridge
* name
ship

SCANNER@ THING
> put it in BRIDGE
* name
the scanner
* x it
It's that thing with the blue light. Whatever it does.

COMPUTER@ THING
> put it in BRIDGE
* name
the science computer
* x it
Apparently, they haven't got realistic voice synthesis even in the 23rd century.

CHAIR@ THING
> put it in BRIDGE
* name
the captain's chair
* x it
Wow, it takes up so much space. But there are no wheels on it.

BRIDGE1@ BRIDGE
* x it
The ship is surrounded by Klingons. They've already taken out the warp drive and getting ready for the killshot. The situation is dire. Your mind flashes back to the [Corbormite Manoeuvre]. Self-destruct might be an option. You have to tell [Scotty] what to do. [Spock] just stares into the scanner. [Bones] is on the "medial" [terps] and already legless.
* blow me up
DOBRIDGE1
* blow me up scotty
DOBRIDGE1
* blow me
INNUENDO
* bomb me up
DOBRIDGE1
* bomb me up scotty
DOBRIDGE1
* bomb me
NOSENSE
* pass
PASS
GOBRIDGE2

GOBRIDGE1
> put player in BRIDGE1
HERE3
XHERE

KLINGONS@ THING
> put it in BRIDGE1
* name
the Klingons
* x it
As ugly as ever. Except for that Klingon female you once pulled.

CORBORMITE@ THING
> put it in BRIDGE1
* name
the Corbormite manoeuvre
* name
corbormite
* x it
Some shit you once pulled, where you almost blew up the ship. What larks!

TERPS@ THING
> put it in BRIDGE1
* name
the terps
* x it
Australian euphemism for cheap booze.

DOBRIDGE1
INCSCORE
You engage the ship's emergency self destruct sequence as a bluff to the Klingons, gambling they'll back off (why do ships always have a self-destruct?).
\
Oh dear, it didn't work. The Klingons just laugh. For them it's a victory to be killed in battle. For amusement though, they allow you an extra few minutes before they open fire. And for Klaang to get the beers in.
GOBRIDGE2

BRIDGE2@ BRIDGE
* x it
Comms is down again. Just when you need to get a distress signal out. Most likely [Scotty]'s fiddling with the ship's computer again. Why cant he leave it alone. [Spock] says Scotty's installing some critical security updates, but the the ship will need switching _off and on again_.
* boot me up scotty
DOBRIDGE2
* boot me up
DOBRIDGE2
* boot me
NOSENSE
* pass
PASS
GOBRIDGE3

GOBRIDGE2
> put player in BRIDGE2
HERE2
XHERE

DOBRIDGE2
You tell Scotty to pull the ship's power. It works! The Klingons are confused over what's going on. You nevertheless need to get out of there **fast**.
INCSCORE
GOBRIDGE3

BRIDGE3@ BRIDGE
* x it
You need warp speed in three minutes or you're all dead! Scotty's heard it all before. "No more deadlines in the sand." But this time its for real. [Scotty] says he "canna' do it" unless he cuts corners. Something like, a big _massive_ [kludge].
* bodge me up scotty
DOBRIDGE3
* bodge me up
DOBRIDGE3
* bodge me
NOSENSE
* pass
PASS
GOCOR1

GOBRIDGE3
> put player in BRIDGE3
HERE2
XHERE

KLUDGE@ THING
> put it in BRIDGE3
* name
the kludge
* x it
A kind of cobbled together hack beginning with B.

DOBRIDGE3
Scotty re-routes the power through the air conditioning and pushes everything to max. It works, you have warp drive unless someone uses the bathroom hand dryer. You don't wait. While the Klingons are arguing, you zoom out of the quadrant. Phew! Another close shave. You decide to take it easy for a while.
INCSCORE
GOCOR1

COR1@ INSIDE COMMON
* name
the corridor
* x it
You're wandering the corridors. Randomly you learn Scotty and [Bones] are organising a luxury holiday on a tropical planet island to get away from all the Starfleet \BS. Even Spock is tempted. [Scotty]'s here and wants to know if you're interested.
* book me up scotty
DOCOR1
* book me up
DOCOR1
* book me
NOSENSE
* pass
PASS
GOPLANET1

GOCOR1
> put player in COR1
HERE3
XHERE

DOCOR1
Good plan. You're all set and decide to beam down. Spock's got his shades and Bones has his flip-flops and shorts.
INCSCORE
GOPLANET1

PLANET1@ OUTSIDE COMMON
* name
the strange planet
* x it
But, as usual, you beam down to the strange planet without properly checking it out first. [Bones] isn't too bothered, there's only a mystery alien force trying to kill everyone. Two [red shirts] are already dead. [Scotty] says it's _your fault_ and worse, he's the only one left wearing red.
* blame me up
DOPLANET1
* blame me up scotty
DOPLANET1
* blame me
NOSENSE
* pass
PASS
GOPLANET2

GOPLANET1
> put player in PLANET1
HERE3
XHERE

DOPLANET1
That as it might be, or not, you all have to get out. Rather than solve the mystery of the alien force, you all decide to **run away**. It was Spock's logical suggestion.
INCSCORE
GOPLANET2

ALIEN@ THING
> put it in PLANET1
* name
the alien mystery force
* name
alien
* x it
You hope it's not that woman all covered in hair again.

REDSHIRT@ THING
> put it in PLANET1
* name
the red shirts
* x it
Extras who wear red. They're dead Jim!


PLANET2@ OUTSIDE COMMON
* name
the desert island
* x it
Now you're stranded on a desert island. How did that happen. Anyway, [Spock] thinks he can convert his [tricorder] into a teleporter. You know he's just bragging, it can't be done without at least 1.21 jiggwatts. [Bones] is topping up his tan. [Scotty] thinks he's got a simple escape plan by building a [raft].
* boat me up
DOPLANET2
* boat me up scotty
DOPLANET2
* boat me
NOSENSE
* pass
PASS
GOTRIAL

GOPLANET2
> put player in PLANET2
HERE3
XHERE

RAFT@ THING
> put it in PLANET2
* name
the raft
* name
logs
* x it
He wants to make a kind of boat made of logs lashed together.

DOPLANET2
You help Scotty cobble together a makeshift raft type boat from old logs, and you're set to go. Spock calculates the chances of sinking are 92.7%. Bones isn't impressed. You tell them to get a grip and get with it. Reluctantly, you all set sail.
\
Moments later, the raft is sinking. Luckily Spock has managed to get a communicator fix using the tricorder as a booster. Just as the raft is sinking into the mud, you're all beamed up. Wow, that was close!
INCSCORE
GOTRIAL

TRIAL@ INSIDE COMMON
* name
the trial
* x it
Bad news. You're on trial for insubordination, **again**. Things aren't going too well this time. You've been accused of using Starfleet equipment for personal use (as usual). You come up with a half-baked excuse and smile a lot, but they're not buying it. You need [Scotty] to _vouch for you_.
* back me up
DOTRIAL
* back me up scotty
DOTRIAL
* back me
NOSENSE
* bail me up scotty
DOTRIAL
* bail me up
DOTRIAL
* bail me
NOSENSE
* big me up scotty
DOTRIAL
* big me up
DOTRIAL
* big me
NOSENSE
* barrister me up scotty
DOTRIAL
* barrister me up
DOTRIAL
* barrister me
NOSENSE
* pass
PASS
GOBAR2

GOTRIAL
> put player in TRIAL
HERE2
XHERE

DOTRIAL
Scotty gives testimony that, for _whatever_ you're accused of, there was **no** other option and, if you didn't do _whatever_ you did, it would be **the end of life as we know it**.
\
Amazingly, they believe him, and you're let off and given another medal! To celebrate, you all go to the Starfleet bar to get properly plastered.
INCSCORE
GOBAR2

BAR2@ INSIDE COMMON
* name
Starfleet Bar
* x it
You're in the Starfleet bar, reminiscing the good old days with [Scotty]. Bones is under the table and [Spock]'s on that [weird blue liquor]. Scotty's sunk 6 expensive [whiskys] already and your glass is empty and it's _his round_.
* beer me up scotty
DOBAR2
* beer me up
DOBAR2
* beer me
NOSENSE
* bottle me up scotty
DOBAR2
* bottle me up
DOBAR2
* bottle me
NOSENSE
* booze me up scotty
DOBAR2
* booze me up
DOBAR2
* booze me
NOSENSE
* binge me up scotty
DOBAR2
* binge me up
DOBAR2
* binge me
NOSENSE
* pass
PASS
GODISCO

GOBAR2
> put player in BAR2
HERE2
XHERE

DOBAR2
Scotty finally gets the beers in. After getting tanked up, you all think it's a good idea go to the disco.
INCSCORE
GODISCO

LIQUOR@ THING
> put it in BAR2
* name
the blue weird liquor
* x it
Not your cup of tea.
* drink it
SPOCKNO
* get it
SPOCKNO

SPOCKNO
Abruptly Spock stops you, "Hands off my beer Captain!"

WHISKY@ THING
> put it in BAR2
* name
the whiskys
* name
whiskey
* x it
Scotty's quaffed 'em unfortunately.

GLASS@ THING
> put it in BAR2
* name
the glass
* x it
It's conspicuously empty.

DISCO@ INSIDE COMMON
* name
the retro disco
* x it
You're in the _retro_ disco. [Bones] says he can do the moonwalk. [Spock] drily points out you've already been to the moon. [Scotty] says he can show you some new moves to _strut your stuff_.
* boogie me up scotty
DODISCO
* boogie me up
DODISCO
* boogie me
NOSENSE
* pass
PASS
GOBRIDGE4

GODISCO
> put player in DISCO
HERE3
XHERE

DODISCO
INCSCORE
Next day, you're back to work in the captain's chair. Your head hurts.
GOBRIDGE4

BRIDGE4@ BRIDGE
* x it
Scotty's learning the [violin]. It's **awful**. A cross between someone strangling a cat and scraping a school blackboard with your nails. Everyone's being driven crazy by it. Bones has anaesthetised himself and [Uhura] has put her head in a bucket of water. Even [Spock] is cussing the science [computer]. You told [Scotty] he has to stop but he's got the right hump. Unless you can suggest a better _instrument_ for him to play, he's going to down tools. Perhaps something **traditional**.
* bagpipe me up scotty
DOBRIDGE4
* bagpipe me up
DOBRIDGE4
* bagpipe me
DOBRIDGE4
* bagpipes me up scotty
DOBRIDGE4
* bagpipes me up
DOBRIDGE4
* bagpipes me
DOBRIDGE4
* pass
PASS
GOBRIDGE5

GOBRIDGE4
> put player in BRIDGE4
HERE3
XHERE

DOBRIDGE4
It worked! Scotty's switched to the bagpipes. His playing is _still_ terrible. He's now strutting along the ship's corridors playing "A Long Way To The Top". Thankfully, it's restricted to the engineering decks.
INCSCORE
GOBRIDGE5

VIOLIN@ THING
> put it in BRIDGE4
* name
the violin
* x it
No more please!

BRIDGE5@ BRIDGE
* x it
Back on the bridge, you're hoping for some peace and quiet, just casual space cruising. **But no**. Apparently, Lt. [Uhura] has turned into a werewolf. _Huh?_ It seems though, she's still at her communications post. [Spock] says she's fine apart from eating raw meat, which is _totally_ "logical". And "fascinating". Bones is hiding. He's refused to treat her citing, "it's beyond science", "she's dead Jim" and shit like that. [Scotty] says there's a [herb] you should get to avoid being bitten.
* bane me up scotty
DOBRIDGE5
* bane me up
DOBRIDGE5
* bane me
NOSENSE
* wolfbane me up
SAYB
* wolfbane me up scotty
SAYB
* wolfsbane me up
SAYB
* wolfsbane me up scotty
SAYB
* beast me up scotty
OTHERWAY
* beast me up
OTHERWAY
* bite me up scotty
OTHERWAY
* bite me up
OTHERWAY
* pass
PASS
GOGYM

SAYB
No, just the "B" bit!

OTHERWAY
No, you want to stop the werewolf from biting **you**!

GOBRIDGE5
> put player in BRIDGE5
HERE2
XHERE

HERB@ THING
> put it in BRIDGE5
* name
the herb
* x it
You know, that plant that wards off werewolves.

DOBRIDGE5
You load up on wolfbane. Pongs a bit, but it's a long shot that might just work. One good thing, Commodore Wesley was on the blower with some timewasting mission delivering cheese, but Uhura just roared at him. And, just like that, he was _gone!_
INCSCORE
GOGYM

GYM@ INSIDE COMMON
* name
the gym
* x it
You're in the gym with [Scotty], [Bones] and [Spock]. Spock says he doesn't need a workout as he's much stronger anyway, but Scotty points out he still looks a weed. Bones complains he's a hard gainer. Scotty's doing some serious weights, you gotta' find out his secret.
* beef me up scotty
DOGYM
* beef me up
DOGYM
* beef me
NOSENSE
* bulk me up scotty
DOGYM
* bulk me up
DOGYM
* bulk me
NOSENSE
* big me up scotty
DOGYM
* big me up
DOGYM
* big me
NOSENSE
* build me up scotty
DOGYM
* build me up
DOGYM
* build me
NOSENSE
* pass
PASS
GOGYM2

GOGYM
> put player in GYM
HERE3
XHERE

DOGYM
Scotty tells you that it's _no pain, no gain_. But you're sure there's more to his technique. You'll find out somehow.
INCSCORE
GOGYM2

GYM2@ INSIDE COMMON
* name
the gym
* x it
Scotty claims he's not only bulked up, but the most **senior engineer** in Starfleet. After all didn't he invent the trans-warp drive? He reckons captaining a ship is an _absolute doddle_. You consider letting **him** take the captain's chair and give orders for a while, see how _he_ likes it.
* boss me up scotty
DOGYM2
* boss me up
DOGYM2
* boss me
NOSENSE
* pass
PASS
GOMALL

GOGYM2
> put player in GYM2
HERE3
XHERE

DOGYM2
Scotty doesn't like it in the captain's chair. He fidgets. And It's the wrong height, and there aren't enough controls to fiddle with. Scotty's bored and announces he's going shopping. Bones and Spock are on it.
INCSCORE
GOMALL

MALL@ INSIDE COMMON
* name
the shopping mall
* x it
You're all at the shopping mall. [Bones] has scored some kick-ass [shoes] and [Spock]'s got a new [tricorder] [bag]. [Scotty] says he knows a discount warehouse outlet with a super **sale** on.
* bargain me up scotty
DOMALL
* bargain me up
DOMALL
* bargain me
NOSENSE
* buy me up scotty
DOMALL
* buy me up
DOMALL
* buy me
NOSENSE
* pass
PASS
GOROAD

GOMALL
> put player in MALL
HERE3
XHERE

SHOES@ THING
> put it in MALL
* name
the kick-ass kick ass kickass shoes
* x it
Bones is really chuffed with them.

BAG@ THING
> put it in MALL
* name
the tricorder bag
* x it
Spock is really chuffed with it. Like a new handbag.

DOMALL
INCSCORE
**Three** hours later, you're all loaded up with shopping bags trying to re-locate the car park. Scotty's found his wheels. Yours must be near somewhere.
GOROAD

ROAD@ OUTSIDE COMMON
* name
the road
* x it
You're back on the road. With the bonus you got from saving the world again, you've got yourself a 1980s [Volvo]. [Scotty]'s got one too, but his is pimped up and tuned with red plush and flames. The **flash git**. You're both waiting at the [traffic lights] for the green. Scotty's _revving his engine, ready to go_.
* burn me up scotty
DOROAD
* burn me up
DOROAD
* burn me
NOSENSE
* pass
PASS
ENDGAME

GOROAD
> put player in ROAD
HERE2
XHERE

DOROAD
INCSCORE
Scotty wheel-spins away, leaving you in the dust.
ENDGAME

VOLVO@ THING
> put it in ROAD
* name
the Volvo
* name
car
* name
estate
* name
red plush
* name
flames
* name
engine
* x it
Yours is an estate. It's massive. Plenty of room for moving large furniture and bags of concrete around.
* drive it
NOCAR
* start it
NOCAR

NOCAR
You're stuck on red!

LIGHTS@ THING
> put it in ROAD
* name
the traffic lights
* x it
You always get stuck on red.

ENDGAME
\n\n
You got to the end!
\
Congratulations on finishing the game. You're lucky I wrote this bit because I never expected anyone to put up with this nonsense for this long.
\
**Well done.**
DOSCORE
\
Oh wait, I nearly forgot. What about the sex and violence you've been waiting for?
BONUS
GAMEOVER

BONUS=
*?PASS NOBONUS
* DOBONUS

NOBONUS
\
Sorry, but you passed on a few. Perhaps next time.

DOBONUS
MORE
images/infocomad.webp
\
**You're going to have use your imagination!** But congrats!

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PHASER@ GETTABLE
> put it in player
* name
a dead phaser
* name
battery
* x it
XPHASER
* fire it
XPHASER
* shoot it
XPHASER
* charge it
No time for that now.
* repair it
XPHASER

XPHASER<
* The battery is dead.
* The battery is _totally_dead.
* There is no way to charge or repair the phaser.
* The phaser won't help you in this game.
* Just leave it about the phaser already.

SCOTTY@ MAN
* name
Scotty
* name
mr scott
* name
flash git
* x it
TALKSCOTTY
* talk to him
TALKSCOTTY
* listen to him
TALKSCOTTY

TALKSCOTTYIN
* Say Cap'n
* I haz an idea
* Hey

TALKSCOTTYOUT
* Waddaya think?
* Pretty good huh?
* Not a bad idea eh?
* Worth a try anyway.

TALKSCOTTY
"TALKSCOTTYIN, TALKSCOTTY1 TALKSCOTTYOUT"

TALKSCOTTY1
* if we bypass the anti-matter dampeners, we might get to warp 10.
* there could even be a parallel universe where Spock has a beard.


SPOCK@ MAN
* name
Spock
* x him
TALKSPOCK
* talk to him
TALKSPOCK
* ask him about THING
TALKSPOCK
* ask him about tricorder
It's a thing I wave around to look clever. Get your own!

TALKSPOCK
"TALKSPOCK1"

TALKSPOCK1
* Fascinating captain.
* This is totally illogical.
* Highly illogical.

TRICORDER@ THING
> put it in spock
* name
the tricorder
* name
button
* x it
It's that thing Spock waves around to apparently scan things and appear clever. But have you noticed it's got like _one_ button on it.
* use it
NOTRICORDER
* press it
NOTRICORDER
* push it
NOTRICORDER
* get it
NOTRICORDER

NOTRICORDER
Spock won't let you.

BONES@ MAN
* name
Bones
* name
dr mccoy
* x him
TALKBONES
* talk to him
TALKBONES

TALKBONES
"TALKBONES1"

TALKBONES1
* It's a bad idea Jim.
* It's not life as we know it, Jim.
* A cage is a cage, Jim.
* I'm a doctor, not an engineer!
* I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer.
* He's dead, Jim!
* Dammit, Jim!

UHURA@ WOMAN
> put her in BRIDGE
* name
Uhura
* name
werewolf
* x her
TALKUHURA
* talk to her
TALKUHURA
* ask her about THING
TALKUHURA

TALKUHURA
"TALKUHURA1"

TALKUHURA1
* Sorry Captain.
* No messages from here Captain.

//////////////////////// HELP  ///////////////////

HELPME
* HELPMISC
* HELPTAUNT

HELPTAUNT#
* Oh come on, it's easy!
* Concentrate harder.
* It's on the tip of your tongue, you just know it.
* You'll kick yourself if I have you tell you.
* You can type **pass** if you're really stuck.
* There are cheats available for a small fee.
* Try going through the dictionary.


HELPMISC&
* All the answers begin with "B".
* The answers are all similar to "Beam me up Scotty." But not that, obviously.
* Answers do not necessarily start with a verb.
* Remember, If "Beam me up" works, "Beam me" is not accepted.


